1989 Topps Major League Debut #144: Dana Williams

Dana Williams

PHOTO: This right here might be the ugliest card in the set, and that's saying something because Williams himself is a damn handsome man with a great smile. The big solid blue batting practice jersey clashes with the turquoise background, and the dots on the jersey clash with the dots on the borders...ugh. Just horrible.

STAT: Judging by his minor league numbers, Williams looks to have been a pretty good hitter with some speed.

ANAGRAM: Dana Williams, Red Sox = Wild animals road sex

CAREER: 1/10

6 career plate appearances.

1989 Topps Major League Debut #56: Eric Hetzel

Eric Hetzel

PHOTO: I really like this photo because of the extreme upward angle, yet the photographer managed to keep some stuff on the ground in frame in the background. Fluffy white clouds are nice.

STAT: Like many pitchers, Hetzel walked too many batters, including Wally Joyner 5 times in 8 career plate appearances.

CAREER: 2/10

Hetzel was so flexible during pre-game stretching that he was nicknamed "Hetzel the Pretzel."

OK, I just made that up.

21 career games and an ERA+ of 67.